The Cure: Your Weekly Fix of “The Walking Dead”
It was all good just a week ago…
- I really thought the opening showing our survivors marching two-by-two in slow-mo was foreshadowing Russell Crowe’s four episode arc as Noah come to save us from the Walkers. That plot would have been just as plausible as the idea of
Christian Bale as Moses Charleton Heston as MosesRussell Crowe as Noah in the first place. Boom! Social commentary on whitewashing in cinema, all up in your Walking Dead recap. Take that, take that…
- Playing “Good Apocalypse, Bad Apocalypse” with Bob, Sasha should have known you cannot beat an overly optimistic, “Zippity Doo-Dah” whistling dude who smiles while trekking through rotting corpses day-in and day-out. Something should be said for Mr. Sunshine’s bounce back from oblivion (#NoElderScrolls). You let Bob dry out and shake the DT’s off, and he belches rainbows and shits cotton candy clouds. Forget 12 Steps and Eugene’s quest–synthesize Bob’s blood for the cure to crippling addiction and Mondays.
- Is there a reason Tara has fallen back into telling people to pound it? I feel like her handing out fist bumps is supposed to signal the return of some sort of normalcy for her character. As much as I hate that quirk, it’s better than continuing to show us her superpower of having glass ankles. Notice she hasn’t tripped, fallen or twisted an ankle yet this season. Which means she is either going to step into a bear (human?) trap set by the Hunters or she’s going to ride Eugene like Bran does Hodor (which I’d pay HBO-tier fees to see).
- I have no trust in Gabriel as anything good. Gabriel is played by Seth Gilliam, who also played Clayton Hughes in “Oz” and Carver in “The Wire.” If you think I’m being too paranoid, ask Father Gabriel about the “Republic of Huru” or what happened to Randy…
- Speaking of Father Gabriel, I suspect he’s been using the church as a stronghold and leaving others (including his congregation) to fend for themselves (hence, the guilt and recognition of the church lady zombie). That, or Carl is REALLY immature for scratching ominous messages and planting knife marks into the side of the church. Let’s not forget just last season he almost got killed and instead of escaping, he sat and ate an entire can of old pudding…
- I do not believe that our group of survivors were so hungry that they needed to jump directly into chunky, Walker-infected water in a shelter basement. I do not believe that stabbing a Walker so that it vomits all over canned goods you need to survive is the new wave. I do, however, believe that if they were indeed that hungry, they’d have been happy (and a lot safer) with Daryl’s impressive haul of squirrel meat.
- Also, what exactly made that water chunky???
- Abraham would’ve had an easier time convincing Rick and Co. to go to D.C. earlier had Eugene maybe given an explanation of the cure that didn’t sound comprised of half a video game plot, one quarter Mr. Wizard home-schooled science and one quarter bullshit.
- Hey, Maggie what about your sister? The one you haven’t seen since the fall of the prison? The one you’re not even sure is still alive? The sister that was recently kidnapped on Daryl’s watch? . She forgave Tara and welcomed her to the group like an, I don’t know…sister? Hell, maybe this was just The Walking Dead’s way of getting rid of Beth like “Family Matters” got rid of Judy and Aunt Rachel.
- Carol’s answer of “..I don’t know…” in reference to why she damn-near made off with the only nearby car and generator is not acceptable. In the zombie apocalypse, that kinda shit gets you killed, not welcomed back into the fold. I half-expected Joe to pop out with a “Now THAT is a lie–teach her all the way.” But then, Joe can’t do that. He no longer has a throat. Thanks, Rick!
- So disappointed in Tyreese for not doing what NEEDED to be done. I need to know how Martin “the Asshole” CabinMan (given internet title) survived being beaten by a Gears of War character. Tyreese literally broke THROUGH the shack, tackled and then pummeled dude for so long the cameraman had time to cut to an outside view of recently decimated zombies. Conveniently, Martin got his eye swelled and databoutit. Alive and snacking on Bob is not what I wanted for that character.
- Gareth has no time to hunt deer and rabbits, but has time to hit up a salon and order motorcycle jackets from LeatherUp.com? If you ask me, someone was already eating homeless people’s flank steaks before the Walker epidemic hit. Dude just needed a flimsy excuse; playing the “psychos raped my mom–break out the dry rub!” card kinda early, aren’t you, Gareth?
- No “BoBBq” puns here, but I have had visions of Bob’s face on a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray’s
The Buddha has spoken.